Emotions are exhausting.  They are a constant up and down roller coaster that can leave our hearts nauseous sometimes with their twists and turns. 

Often the goal of chemically altering the mind through earthly ways of coping is to feel something.  However, others times the desire can be to feel nothing at all and to be released from the weight placed on our hearts that has begun to tear at us. 

I think one of most tiring emotional jaunts is the chasing of happiness.  Maintaining the feeling of being happy can be natural for some, but some of us spend a lot of time trying to grasp onto small bits of it while fighting long term battles with sadness and numbness. 

Happiness is incredibly fleeting.  It is a ghost we chase our entire lives.  When we get a surge of it we become obsessed with that desire to get electrified by the surge of elation and rush of adrenaline.  It comes as fast as it came, and we are left empty again as we search for it with deep longings. 

The search for happiness can be discouraging at times.  Over and over we find it, and then over and over it is taken away and snatched away by anxious thoughts and despair.  The topic crossed my mind again recently because I have gotten so weary of the ups and downs and mourning of lost happiness that I almost wish I could just stay numb instead of feel that loss again. 

Staying in a persistent numbness to avoid loss is not the answer though.  It would be better to embrace that brief moments of happiness and be content with what we receive.  Those moments would not be as special if they weren’t so rare.

So if you must rest from the weary roller coaster of feelings please do.  Don’t shut down and hide forever.  Let us savor those times of happiness together, even if they are fleeting.  When the low times come we will get through them together. 

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