Noah and an Almighty Flood: Epic Book, Hailed “Fascinating & Amusing”, Diarises Noah’s “Arkhaic” Journey

Masterfully crafted by former Headteacher, Keith Rowlands, ‘Noah and an Almighty Flood’ perfectly fuses Biblical history and humour to add an entirely new spin on Noah’s exploits with his ark. Whilst a light-hearted story at its core, the volume also answers a number of burning questions readers have had for thousands of years (how did all of the animals fit? And how did they survive the flood?!). One critic recently hailed the book a “….hugely entertaining, well written, witty, insightful – just a good read, can’t put it down …… can’t wait to see what Noah is contemplating next!”.

Out of all the stories in the Bible, Genesis chapters 6–9, better known as ‘Noah’s Ark’, is perhaps the most fascinating and applicable to people at all levels of faith. It’s a story that is not only vital to its Biblical roots, but also entertaining for adults and children of no faith at all.

However, it comes with an epic boatload of questions. How could Noah have ever built that Ark with such basic materials? How did he get all of the animals onboard? And who tended to them during the voyage? Thankfully, retired Headteacher Keith Rowlands is finally providing the answers.

It comes in the form of ‘Noah and an Almighty Flood’, a diary-format story, told by Noah himself. Prepare to laugh and share in Noah’s trials and tribulations, and so grow closer to the original story than you ever thought.


As he watched from on high, perhaps it did not take God too long to realise that he had put too much emphasis on finding a righteous person and not enough on finding a master-craftsman with other necessary and relevant qualities. For someone who created the world in seven days, this must have been a bit of a set-back.

In this journal, which is full of humour, pathos and mismanagement and written day by day by Noah himself, we learn that he too has much on his mind dealing with the momentous task thrust upon him.

There is for example his wife Momma to pacify.

Day 5: “You tell HIM it will be punishment enough if I can’t put my washing out for a week. Does He have to be so drastic?”

Momma won’t let up

Day 75 “Maybe HE should have sent a drought….then you need only build a water barrel “

Then there are health and safety issues.

Day 95: “Lord, if we have to lose any fingers, please let it be our little fingers.” Attention to detail is everything.

And accidents.

Day 228: I was covered in wood-shavings – which stuck to my body wherever there was pitch. There was pitch everywhere.

Day 323: “At supper, I told them that it was unfortunate for Ham to have splinters in his bottom, but nothing was impossible if we all pulled together. Then they all laughed and I still don’t know why.
And moments when he learns to hold his nerve.

Day 336: He seems to be under some impression that I am steering it … he asked if I would put up a chart showing our position.

Day 457: “At supper Dinah was bitten by a strange blue insect and instinctively smacked it hard as it bit her arm. Shelagh said “Well done ,Dinah, you’ve just wiped out an entire species “

Let us leave the last word to Momma.


Day 542: “You just be sure you land this ark back where we started,” she said, “because I’m not spending the rest of my life going down these ramps and walking along three decks, just to answer the door.”


The author has written this well-known story in such an unique way, it will have wide appeal to anyone from eight to eighty. It is a journal that describes every mishap as Noah grapples with building a huge ark, faces the pathos of leaving behind his fellow man and then commands a ship he cannot steer, a family he cannot satisfy, and all the while tries to cope with the uneasy peace of the animals on three decks.

“There were certainly many fine lines to be drawn during the book’s composition,” explains the author, also an accomplished artist. “I had to absolutely ensure there was dignity and relevance to the Bible’s original word, while also adding in enough humour to make it entertaining – all bound together by a creative licence which allowed me to answer many of the ultimate questions people have about Noah and his fateful journey.”

Continuing, “I wanted to write something that would entertain Christians and deepen their understanding of a pivotal story in the Bible, but also adults and children in secular households could pick up and read. Noah’s story is universal, so my book had to be, too.”

Feedback for the volume has been impressive. For example, a former school inspector writes, “A fascinating and amusing book … highly credible answers to things that have always bothered me … how did the animals get on to the Ark … and how WERE they looked after during the flood?! The characters are really well drawn, giving me a clear mental picture of their appearance, personalities and interactions … clever overtones of Noah’s management problems. Although I know the ending, the book held my complete attention throughout and the Ark’s arrival on dry land was both funny and moving at the same time. I can unreservedly recommend to readers of all ages.”

Dawn Hooper writes, “… it on a ship…….I laughed out loud so many times, I’m not sure what the other passengers thought.”

Roger Evans O.B.E. PPA Columnist of the Year writes, “Very well written….Lends itself to serialisation in magazines”.

Nicola adds, “I thoroughly enjoyed this book with its modern take on the biblical story. The tale was extremely well thought through with some wry allusions at today’s work places and practices and a great deal of insight into how we all work together (some times more successfully than others). It answered the mysteries of the original story and then posed a few of its own. It’s a book that would be enjoyed by both adults and older children. A book to bring a smile to your face as you read.”


‘Noah and an Almighty Flood’ is available now:

For more information on the author and his work, visit:


About the Author:

Keith is a retired head-teacher, whose career in teaching spanned 39 years, 18 years of which were as Head of the Dell School in Chepstow, since its opening in 1989 until his retirement in 2007. During this period the school was three times winner of the Wales Quality Award, and became the first public sector organisation in the UK to win the prestigious UK Quality Award. He is a popular after dinner speaker, and has given speeches at the World and European Congresses on Quality Management. He was awarded the OBE in 2002 for services to education. He lives with his wife Maureen in Monmouthshire, where he writes and has also had solo art exhibitions.


Source: Keith Rowlands

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Iain Moss is the Managing Editor of He’s been an enormous Christian music fan since a concert by The World Wide Message Tribe in 2001 and is passionate about spending his life changing the Christian music stereotype/saving the lives of our youth with it. He has a punny quick witted sense of humor, is a sports lover and a keen Chess and Go player. His favorite 10 bands are: Thousand Foot Krutch, KJ-52, Disciple, Stellar Kart, Skillet, Kutless, Manafest, Family Force 5, Seventh Day Slumber, and Ashes Remain. oh, and he's from the land of crumpets and tea, a.k.a the U.K.!

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