The sad irony of our existence is that we will often strive to feel of worth and of importance. We will have moments when we begin to believe this, like a crack of light pouring into our hearts, yet we choose to close this door each time it opens. The irony is that we are already of worth and importance, even though we are constantly trying to become that which we already are.
As a female this longing to be important, to be beautiful, comes out in many different ways. For some it is in the makeup they meticulously put on every morning; for others it reveals itself through a deep anxiety and fear of what others are thinking of them. For me, well, it comes out in my inability to stop. I have to be working hard and I must be busy to prove that I am valuable. Consequently I will finish my ‘tasks’ often to a high standard, but even then I am never satisfied. A fleeting moment of pride will be overcome by memories of ‘failure’ and doubts of my future performance. The truth is, I often feel like I mask myself as a confident, capable person who is willing to see my worth and that of others; and I am all these things. But I also frequently feel like that sick little school girl who had to lay on the couch day after day because she was afraid of what other people thought of her; the little girl who would take the long route to class to avoid walking past the ‘cool’ kids.
You see, I believe that every person is unique. We are made with a purpose; there is a plan for our lives. You are made beautiful. Yet I find I am constantly at war with this belief, telling myself that no matter how hard I have worked or what praise I receive, that I should be capable of more; that I should be better.
The fact is, I can’t be better in this moment than I am right now. I will always have new things to learn, skills to become better at and an art to perfect; but who I am right in this moment is enough. I am enough. You are enough. We can enter each day believing that what we have to offer isn’t any good, but we would be lying. What we have, right now, is what we have fought for and have been given. If we are alive for a reason- and we are, what we have in this moment is enough to give to the world. This is not dependent on a circumstance, a person’s opinion or our own emotions, it is fact. We are, and always will be, enough. I will fight to believe this for myself just as I will fight to help others believe it every day; through the words I write, through my behavior, through the love I express. My friend, today please know that you are enough.
“There is no one else in the world that is YOU. You are the only one. Give yourself permission to love yourself. Be proud of who you are. Own your imperfections—your crooked smile, your acne scars from 9th grade, your unruly hair. Whatever it is, don’t let it make you feel embarrassed or want to run away. Take a moment and notice what you love about yourself. Inside and out, it’s all you, and the rest of the world has no right to take it from you.”
– Jessica Haley