The last thing I remember was being at a college party;

Taking shots and playing truth or dare;

Flirting and grinding against warm bodies;

Shouting to friends and getting shouted at in return;

Drinking myself into a mental shutdown;

 

Never fully recovered from that day;

Constantly slipping in and out of consciousness;

Drinking to fall asleep;

And drinking to stay awake;

It was my high and low;

Useless with it, pathetic without it;

 

Nothing mattered anymore;

As long as I had my booze fix, I was good;

It flowed in my bloodstream and it smelled in my sweat;

I knew I was wasting away and I couldn’t help it;

How could I stay away from the bottle which also made me feel alive?

 

Every drag from the bottle was like putting a revolver to the head;

Waiting for the final moment to pull the trigger;

I guess there are more ways of committing suicide than it is claimed;

I stopped fighting to stay alive;

I gave in to abyss calling forth to me;

 

But I found myself awake ten years later;

I looked older than my age;

My liver miserably damaged;

My body withering before my very eyes;

My youth had passed me by and I didn’t even realize it;

 

Where do I begin to pick up the many pieces I’ve broken myself into?

How do I regain all the wasted years?

With my sick liver, I knew my days were numbered;

After messing mine so recklessly, I doubt I deserved someone else’s;

But I knew that with the limited time I had left, I had to make them count;

 

So I dedicated my life (or what was left of it) to counseling young people;

To safeguard their lives by living with purpose;

To sacrifice temporary pleasures for the sake of long-term health stability;

I knew I had become an agent of change but I didn’t quite feel fulfilled;

The vacuum within me was gnawing at me;

 

Then I encountered the One who is able to make all things new and whole;

I felt Him from my TV screen as a preacher prayed;

And I felt a heavy weight abandon my shoulders;

And an indescribable peace flood my soul;

I knew I was changed for real with the tears that flowed;

 

Then as I got to know Him better by reading an old Bible I had forgotten I even owned;

I got to know that anyone who comes to Christ is a new creation;

I believed it but I also wondered how I could be new with an ailing liver;

I’ve made you anew’, he could hear in his ears;

He accepted it but he had to verify;

 

And the medical report confirmed it!

Miracles do happen!

Even to undeserving people like me!

I had to tell everyone about this Good News!

If He saved me from my self-inflicting hurt;

Why wouldn’t He do it for you too?

 

Who else has a testimony to share?

Why don’t you join me tell the world that there’s indeed a Savior;

He’s real and He isn’t as boring as He’s painted to be;

For in Him is life and life in abundance;

I can’t keep quiet! Please join me, shout that Jesus is Lord!

 

© Josephine Amoako 2016

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