Being a Mother, Wife, and Worshiper are my heart’s joys. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t tough and time consuming at times. Being a Mother is a 24/7 job, no vacation days, sick time, or coming in late because I over slept. Being a Wife is another 24/7 job, while I have to be emotionally available at all times and there is no shut off button when I don’t want to be bothered. When I say Worshiper (everyone is a worshiper in their own way, of course) I mean that I am heavily involved in my home church, and am a Worship leader. Now all of these things take up the majority of my time, however, like I said, these things bring me pure joy.
Being born and raised in NYC, I have become accustomed to wearing myself thin, adding too many things into my schedule, and most of the time feeling completely overwhelmed. I know, it isn’t healthy, but it’s my reality. However, you know that saying, “Do something you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life’? Well, I could say that this relates to my life at this time. We all make time for things that we truly enjoy. I wouldn’t be ME, if I wasn’t a mother running around with my head cut off, a wife that constantly has to repeat to her husband to take the garbage out 5 times before he actually does it, and leading worship on Sundays when I’d rather stay at home and in bed. (Remember, it is only sometimes that I feel this way)
Over the years I have found myself facing battles and struggles that I could not see myself overcoming. I would separate myself (some would say go into hiding) and not really dig into community for support and love. As a New Yorker, we are taught to strap up and go into survival mode and do things completely on our own. But the Gospel does not teach us this. It is important to have supportive people around you, who share the same love of Christ as you, and those who struggle with life, just like you. It is easier to separate rather than reach out to community. It’s a habit I have to break; we have to break, in order to really experience the Gospel and the love of Christ.
When I first came to Christ, I’ve got to be honest, I was intimidated to be around other Christians because I was new to all of this, I wasn’t well versed in the bible (I am still not, so being around them was a bit scary, and if I was told to reach out to them when in a dark time, I would completely shut the idea down). But there was something else that I turned to. Something else that I found comfort in. It was Christian music. Ever since I was young, music was something that spoke to my soul. No conversation, with me personally, was needed because I felt like every song was dedicated and written for me. When I hear songs by artists like Lauren Daigle and Kari Jobe (my personal favorites) they speak about Christ in ways that I can understand and relate to. They talk about Him moving in their everyday lives. Some people are turned off, simply by just the term “Christian music”, expecting to hear old hymns, reminding them of a broken down and haunted chapel. They find it ancient, unappealing, and irrelevant to their life today. But Christian music is a broad genre. There are many styles such as Pop, Rock, Folk, R&B, even Rap. You have Rappers whose message is solely about God, who He is, and His never ending love for you and I. Music has the power to change us. To change the world. Music has become a way of teaching and spreading awareness. It hasn’t always spread the most positive messages but there are artists out there that are dedicated to sharing the Gospel. If we open our ears to hear not only the sounds we love, but the message that we so desperately need to hear, we can find clarity in this busy city, and in this crazy world. The world that seems dark and uninterested in the good and positive. The world that never seems to slowdown. The world that seems to only be interested in our money and social status rather than who we are, what we think, and what we truly believe.
Sometimes music is my only escape from the noisy taxis, subways, and ice cream trucks in the summer.
I try and seek God in every aspect of my life. I seek Him when I feel I’m not measuring up to the good mother I think I should be. I seek Him when I feel I am not being a supportive wife, I seek Him when I feel like my worship is becoming stale and am focusing on me rather than the real goal of leading people to Jesus.
But on the other side, I seek Him when I look into my son’s eyes and feel blessed when he calls me “Mama”. I seek Him when my husband and I have found time in our busy schedules to make time for each other, and I seek Him when our Baptism services are filled with so many people surrendering their life to Christ. I seek Him in the good and the bad. I seek Him in the busy times and in the minutes I have set aside.
Make time for the things you love. Make time for God.
Love & Blessings,